The world is in a state of amused indifference today as news of a vegan stripling’s attempt to assassinate 6’3″, 200Ibs golden giant Donald ‘bullet-proof’ Trump failed miserably.
A tiny man with ‘twig-like arms’ was arrested Saturday at a Donald Trump rally after he had tried to grab a Las Vegas cop’s gun so he could “shoot and kill” the Republican presidential candidate, according to a U.S. District Court filing.
It is believed that the would-be assassin was inspired to take action after having read a million mainstream news articles insisting that Trump is ‘literally Hitler.’
“To be fair to the little guy,” said a Trump supporter who saw the guy get hustled away, “his protein-deprived brain is probably pretty susceptible to propaganda. Kudos to him for trying to do what he thinks is right,” adding, “but he is a fool.”
The tiny man was said to have made a conscious effort to go to Las Vegas to kill Trump. While in custody, the man has also declared that “if he were on the street tomorrow, he would try this again,” in a very squeaky ‘mouse-like’ voice.
The Daily Mail reports that Donald Trump failed to notice the pasty English weakling’s deeply flawed assassination attempt.