An article in The Washington Post titled Trump Getting Blown Out In The Philadelphia Suburbs will be studied for years to come as a prime example of snarky concern trolling masquerading as reportage.
The expertly written example of concern trolling follows our intrepid Washington Post reporter, James Hohmann, as he searches, desperately, the grubby bars and hangouts in rust belt western Pennsylvania looking for someone, anyone, who supports Donald J Trump.
For two whole days did Hohmann crawl the dingy sports bars of the ‘collar counties’ vainly trying to find just one Trump supporter! But none were to be found.
I canvassed two dozen voters at three different sports bars – before, during and after the Eagles game last Sunday – in places where there should be pockets of Trump support. Most of the people watching football were white men, a good demographic for Trump. But they were also college educated and had white-collar jobs, not so good demographics for him.
The article drips with ‘genuine’ concern for poor Trump’s dire chances!
At the bars, in fact, it proved surprisingly difficult to find just one fan of The Donald during a day-long odyssey. It was, however, easy to find split-ticket voters, people supporting Clinton and Republican Sen. Pat Toomey for reelection.
If only Trump were a standard open-borders-invade-middle-east Republican he’d not have this problem! Blokes drinking beer in sports bars in Pennsylvania are yyyuge fans of a borderless USA and they love it! when the US sends its men to die in dusty countries in the Middle East for no reason! Why, oh why, isn’t Trump standing for that?!
In a reflection of just how demographically polarized this election has become, I asked these folks where to find Trump supporters. For the first time, a group of boisterous Eagles fans at Ye Olde Ale House sunk into contemplative silence. “Uhhhh, I don’t know,” said a 20-something chemist.
Not only are there no Trump supporters in any of these bars but no-one in the bars has ever even met a Trump supporter! Or seen one! Or even heard of one! Even after thinking real hard and dredging their memories… Trump supporters probably don’t exist! It’s looking pretty bad for poor Trump alright.
Another stopped guzzling his beer. “Want me to Google like, an even sketchier bar than this one?” he asked.
Trump supporters, if they exist… which they don’t, probably hang-around in the sketchiest bar. Actually, they probably only hang around in grim unlit sheds filled with cans of beans, rusty knives and human-looking skeletons. Probably. They’re Ed Gein and Timothy McVeigh combined!
Brian, an IT specialist, said Trump’s rhetoric “goes back to [Joseph] Goebbels, to Hitler.” He said he could not think of a single friend or even colleague at work who backs the GOP nominee.
This guy is clearly a genius with a well-rounded and well-informed notion of history and politics. And he doesn’t know ANYBODY, not even a dodgy colleague, who supports Trump!
Case closed, I reckon, Trump’s not only going to lose but it’s going to be embarrassing! Pity poor Trump. It’s a good job concerned reporters like James Hohmann are trying to help let him know he should quit while he still can.