Politicians of the soon-to-be third world state of Germany have racked their brains for a solution to the refugee rape crisis and have, they believe, finally come up with an elegant solution.
Their previous solution, wristbands with the word ‘No!’ on them, proved ineffective. The new solution, however, is sure to succeed.
Children are to be given temporary tattoos of a cute little cartoon pony saying “please don’t rape me!”
Where wristbands and posters have failed the tattoos are expected to succeed.
“We think the image of the cute little pony asking not to be raped will influence migrant rape-attackers in a way the wristbands and posters didn’t,” says a local councillor, “the little pony is just so cute!”
Everyone has agreed, however, that if the cute temporary tattoos fail, they will work hard in ensuring future attempts to prevent refugee rapes succeed. Back-up plans involve giving out teddy bears in ‘Rape is wrong’ aprons and encouraging the whole of German society to accept rape as ‘the new normal.’