Research released today has revealed the extraordinary rates at which desert people are culturally appropriating German technology in the UK.
Desert people, who make up 50% of the population in parts of London, appear to be drawn, inexorably, to German luxury cars to the point where ownership of Audi, BMW and Mercedes Benz vehicles reaches an extraordinary 72% of those UK desert people who do not depend on public transport. And 96% of the equivalent male desert people population.
“There’s no doubt at all anymore that brown people are drawn to German luxury cars more than any other group,” says social scientist and lead researcher Margaret Sneyd, “what we don’t know is why.”
Some commentators have pointed out that the brown people’s use of German luxury cars is a clear case of cultural appropriation.
Cultural appropriation is the adoption or use of elements of one culture by members of another culture.
“Desert people were the first to develop horseback riding so there would be no problem at all with them travelling by this means. Using German luxury cars however is a morally dubious appropriation of another culture,” says social justice student Anna Keppel.
Muslim desert people park a piece of German automotive technology
“The most important inventors and developers in the history of the internal combustion engine are Nicholas Otto, Karl Benz and Gottlieb Daimler,” says Automotive historian Kurt Montel, “but there were many others involved. All Europeans of course. I would argue the internal combustion engine in a European invention.”
Bayerische Motoren Werke AG (BMW) is based in Munich, Mercedes Benz is based in Stuttgart, and Audi is based in Ingolstadt, Bavaria. None of the manufacturers of luxury cars nor any of the inventions that such cars depend on are from the countries of Muslim desert people.
Desert people’s preferences for German luxury cars appear to vary with age with younger desert people preferring BMW while older ones prefer Mercedes Benz. They all however love German luxury cars.
“You might occasionally see a brown person in a Nissan Skyline, but that is an outlier. Overwhelmingly they’re in Beamers, Audis and Mercs,” continues Margaret Sneyd.
“We suspect that brown people have a high tendency for wanting to show off how rich they are. Whereas rich white people will be perfectly content to drive a Ford, Renault, Volkswagen or Fiat, a brown person would never willingly do so.”
Desert man photographs self with German and Italian automotive technology
Social justice student Keppel believes that the more pressing matter is the cultural appropriation.
“I just don’t think a people who never went through the industrial revolution should be allowed to use the products of it,” she says, “it’s just disrespectful to the culture that produced these high-end vehicles, German culture, to have desert people driving around in them.”
Spokesmen from BMW, Mercedes Benz and Audi have said that they don’t care who buys the cars ’cause money is money.