As you know, no-one cares about the Scottish Enlightenment or any of the musty old principles it may have been going on about. But do you know who cares least? Well, it’s probably the Glasgow police force ain’t it?
And good for them! That’s what I say! Because I think that the only ideas, opinions or notions that should be on the internet are those that meet the conditions the Greater Glasgow Police have tweeted above. So…. THINK… Whenever you are about to post something, does it meet the conditions? DON’T POST if it is illegal, false, hurtful, unnecessary or unkind. Easy! Those conditions are simple and there’s no room for debate or confusion at all. Everyone knows what an unkind, unnecessary or hurtful tweet looks like, don’t they… Because everyone has agreed on the rock-solid definitions of those things. There no chance at all of anyone, say, interpreting criticism as unkind, is there? And… Criticism is unnecessary and probably not true anyway. THINK!
How, you might ask, will the Glasgow police enforce this stuff. Well… If they see that you’ve posted an unnecessary tweet or an unkind facebook status, they’ll come round your house and give you what for. Obviously.
THINK! Before you post a blog update mentioning that you think fat people are ugly, THINK! Before you mention the tendency of Muslims to blow people up, THINK! Before you criticise a feminist for scamming her fans, THINK! Before you put an unnecessary video of a cute kitten on YouTube, THINK! Before you state your belief that the Sun revolves around the Earth! None of these meet the conditions of the Greater Glasgow Internet Police Enforcer brigade.
And, remember, the Greater Glasgow Internet Enforcer Brigade, much like Batman, has no jurisdiction. They don’t care that the internet can be accessed and posted to from places other than Glasgow… They’ll come and scoop you up wherever you are the second you post that Kitten video! THINK!