Hollywood studios today announced in a joint statement that they are planning to continue using numbers in place of letters in film titles “because it looks cool.”
Facing strong resistance from audiences and fans the studios have stated that they are committed to using numbers for letters “whenever we can see an opportunity to do so.”
“This means using 4s in place of As, 3s or 8s in place of Es and Bs, 1s in place of Is and Ls, 9s in place of Ps and 2s in place of the words To, Too and Two. And anything else we can come up with,” the statement read.
They are also going to use 0s instead of Os.
Titles where numbers have taken the place of letters include Se7en, Step Up 2 The Streets, Thir13en Ghosts, 2 Fast 2 Furious, 5inal Destination, and Fant4stic.
“It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen,” said one film fan while looking at a poster for S1m0ne, “why do they keep using numbers for letters?” he asks himself, “sometimes the number they use doesn’t even look like the letter.”
“At least with the TV show Num3ers, the number ‘3’ looks a bit like a ‘B’. But how does the number ‘13’ look like ‘te’ in Thir13en Ghosts?”
Studios point out in their statement that using a number in place of a letter “looks cool”. A statement many refute.
“It doesn’t look cool,” says graphic designer Conrad Afferstone holding up a copy of Fant4stic, “it looks fucking retarded.”
“I know what they’re thinking,” says Afferstone, “they first think the teal and orange background looks good because teal and orange go well together, and then they think the cast looking moody is cool. And then they think using a number 4 instead of a ‘A’ makes it stand out from the crowd even more!”
“But EVERY SINGLE FILM has teal and orange, moody cast and, about half of them have a number for a letter.”
“Everyone is Hollywood is a fucking dumbass,” he concludes.