There is outrage today amongst Republican voters as evidence emerged that voting machines in the 2016 election are prone to a calibration error which causes them to shred, burn and bury votes for Donald Trump and replace them with perfectly filled-in votes for Democratic criminal Hillary Clinton.
It appears that when the machine recognises a vote for Trump it erroneously categorises that vote as trash. This causes the machine to shred the vote, burn it to a crisp, and then bury it in a shallow grave in the dead of night. The machine then records the trash as a vote for Clinton.
“Calibration errors like this are fairly common,” says software engineer Mark Reingold, “though it is odd for these machines to have the ability to go into the woods, dig a hole and bury votes in it.”
Some believe the democrat-favoring error is an intended feature of the machines.
The ‘Completely Fair Voting Machines’, hand built by George Soros himself, who is famous for subverting democratic processes and financial systems the world over, have previously been instrumental in the election of Hugo Chavez in Venezuela.
In that case votes for opposition candidates were decades later discovered in the hollows of several thousand trees.
Electoral officials from all affected States have, however, issued reassurances. The machines, they say, are so fair that they can tell who you wanted to vote for even if you accidentally put your mark next to the wrong name.
“They’re great machines,” said Clinton Campaign manager John Podesta.