Chancellor Angela Merkel emerged from a magical cuckoo clock on Wednesday to announce that, in the opinion of the colorful wackadadoo denizens of Fantasy Land, refugees had not brought terrorism to Germany.
Fantasy Land is a magical place accessed via a special cuckoo clock portal that opens whenever a child cries.
Bringing more news of the opinions of the faeries, maguffins and chumpilunks that populate Fantasy Land, Merkel went on to say that Islam belonged in Germany because Germany has always been a place where Islam has been practiced and it fits in perfectly with German culture and tradition.
This idea was immediately questioned by those who live in the real world.
More than a million people fleeing their own traits and tendencies in the Middle East, Africa and elsewhere arrived in Germany last year. The mood towards them has soured after it turned out they had, unexpectedly, brought their traits and tendencies with them.
However, at a meeting of mythical beings where she was challenged to say something fantastically contrary to reality, Merkel said that “The phenomenon of Islamist terrorism is not a phenomenon that came to us with the refugees.”
Merkel’s popularity has suffered and 52 percent of people who live in the real world think her migrant policy is atrocious.
“I just don’t think immigration policy should be based on Fantasy Land opinions, wishful thinking, made-up nonsense, or a belief in magical faerie powers,” said one actual man who really exists.