Marvel Studios have announced that Donald Glover will join the cast of Spider-Man: Homecoming in the role of Spider-Man’s Black Best Friend. Homecoming is Sony and Marvel’s joint reboot of the Spider-Man franchise. The movie is due to begin production later this month.
In his role as Spider-Man’s Black Best Friend Donald Glover will play a highly competent, highly intelligent, morally perfect, gregarious, generous, creative, tenacious, ideal human.
A Marvel Studios executive explains that the Black Best Friend is, perhaps, the most important role in any given Marvel film, “without a Black Best Friend our hero would not have a Perfect Example Of Human Perfection with whom to talk and on whom to depend,” the executive goes on to add that without Black Best Friends most Marvel cinematic heroes would be “just dumb white guys doing dumb white guy stuff.”
The Black Best Friend is a necessary feature of all Marvel studios films. Captain America has Sam Wilson, played by Anthony Mackie. Tony Stark has James Rhodes, played by Don Cheadle. Thor has Heimdal played by Idris Elba. Benedict Cumberbatch’s Dr Strange will have a Black Best Friend portrayed by Chiwetel Ejiofor. Even Black Panther, who is himself black, will have a Black Best Friend played by Michael B. Jordan.
“At the studios,” the executive points out, “we count Zoe Saldana in Guardians of the Galaxy as a Black Best Friend. Even though she’s green in that.”
It is believed that Kevin Feige of Marvel Studios dictates that all best friends in the Marvel Cinematic Universe must be Black Best Friends.
“There’s a list of ethnicities that best friends aren’t allowed to be,” says a Hollywood insider, “it’s got all sorts on it. You can’t have best friends who are Chinese, Native American, Samoan, Maori, Pygmi, Celtic, Basque, Ainu, Inuit, Jewish, Pakistani, Arab, and definitely not white people.”
“Hispanic is allowed though,” he adds, “Ant-Man had a Hispanic Best Friend played by Michael Peña.”