Continuing the pattern of the victims of Muslim attacks refusing to acknowledge the Islamic nature of those attacks, the people of Manchester have, this morning, been celebrating the loveliness and helpfulness of Muslims.
Though Muslims are responsible for the murders of 22 people at an Ariana Grande concert last night the people of Manchester want you to know that Muslim taxi drivers helpfully drive taxis and Muslim doctors helpfully are doctors.
The people of Manchester would like you to know that the murders have nothing to do with the Religion of Peace.
In fact, the people of Manchester would like you to know that the real villains here are the racists and the alt-right and the haters who, mysteriously, knew that the attackers were Muslim before any official information was released.
The people of Manchester would like you to vote for more open borders and more Muslim immigrants to prove that you, like them, are not a horrible racist.
The people of Manchester do not expect these policies to result in more deaths.