King KwaGuna of the Bantu people presented a status report of the Bantu expansion today informing interested parties that the ‘expansion’ is currently entering ‘Phase 3 – Pan- Continental Expansion.’
“We can happily report that phase 2 was completed on schedule with only one or two set-backs in the 19th century,” said King KwaGuna, “and we are now comfortably within the parameters of phase 3.”
King KwaGuna presents Phase 3
Phase 1 of the Bantu expansion was completed when the Bantu began to expand beyond the areas of their West African tribal lands, Phrase 2 was completed when all non-bantu people in Africa were exterminated leaving the continent of Africa wholly Bantu.
“Phase 3 will indeed be our greatest challenge,” said King KwaGuna, “but, that said, we have already made inroads, and serious progress, in expanding into the Americas and Europe.”
Suggested next-steps presented by King KwaGuna included such ideas as ‘perhaps going more into Russia, China, India and Japan’.
Phase 1 was completed with ease
He also suggested that the ‘most skilled and talented’ Bantu individuals make the effort to enter nations which have strict immigration laws, “once you’re in Australia, or wherever, just go ahead and have as many children as possible!”
“Let’s see how quickly we can expand across the whole planet!” King KwaGuna said, “and then let’s look to the stars!”