Newspapers are working extra-hard today to describe a #blacklivesmatter protest as ‘peaceful’ after the murders of five police officers.
Descriptions of a peaceful #blacklivesmatter protest today have left some readers scratching their heads over what exactly must happen before such a protest is described as something other than ‘peaceful.’
“We’re used to beatings, stabbings, arson and destruction of property being described as ‘peaceful’,” said one reader of The Washington Post today, “but this is a whole new level of describing things black people do as ‘peaceful’.”
Initial reports say that many newspapers are attempting to describe the protest as peaceful but ‘gone wrong.’ This is a strategy taken from crime reporting where it is standard practice to refer to street killings and house invasion killings by black people as robberies and burglaries ‘gone wrong.’
“The ‘gone wrong’ style might work perfectly well here,” says media professor Asha Singh, “you just have to create the impression that the ‘peaceful’ protest was going along peacefully until others started being violent. Of course the shooters will have to be referred to as separate from the protestors. ‘Lone Wolves’ maybe.”
Another strategy thought to be in consideration to prevent anyone holding #blacklivesmatter responsible is called the ‘don’t think about it, then forget it’ strategy.
This strategy calls for ‘a period of mourning’ during which all analysis other than left-wing analysis is called ‘distasteful.’ Then, when the ‘period of mourning’ is over, the event is forgotten (put in ‘memory hole’).
A spokesman for the International Conspiracy of Journalists has released a statement calling for all reporters and commentators to “stick to the narrative, these events are no different from any others we’re perfectly adept at disingenuously reporting.”
The New York Times says that, although the shootings of police by black people took place during a protest against the police by black people, that the motives are ‘unclear’:
“Although the shooting occurred during a rally to protest police-involved shootings, it was unclear what relationship the gunmen had to the demonstration.” It was probably just one of those weird coincidences.
The spokesman for the International Conspiracy of Journalists went on to explain that though white people in general must always be held responsible for Everything Bad That Ever Happens to non-white people, “the black lives matter protesters must not be held responsible for the actions of black lives matter protesters.”
The Guardian cunningly referred to the #blacklivesmatter protest as an ‘anti-violence’ protest. #blacklivesmatter protests have previously involved beatings, throwing of rocks and calls for the deaths of white people. A #blacklivesmatter protestor murdered two police officers in their patrol car in December 2014.
It is believed newspapers are preparing feature pieces focusing on ‘The Institutional Racism of the Police’ and ‘gun violence.’